Kickball, Jump Rope, Hopscotch, Freeze Tag, One-Two-Three-Red Light, Rockin' Robin and Mother May I?! Wow... can anybody remember the innocent days in our youth when we went outside during morning recess? We gathered on the playground to run and laugh as we played these type of pre-tech games. What an experience of being carefree and enjoying life to the fullest those days were to a kid during the school day. As I reflect upon those times on this first exquisite day of May, I realize that we can still be that carefree right now no matter our numerical age because of a one word formula called "JOY." Not "HAPPINESS" but real, sincere and unadulterated "JOY" that is not dependent upon a happening but simply upon the grace of God.
The JOY of the Lord is my strength and I am expecting God to continue to pour strength in that my joy will be made complete. Throughout the years, many of the absolute best things have happened to me in the month of May. Is it because May is my birth month? Could it be because "5" is God's number of grace? Lol! I don't really think so because soem May days have been far from "sunny" but the one thing I know for sure is that whatever month I'm in, I have a direct line of communication and all I have to say is "Father May I?" If my request (that may not even be tangible) is in the perfect will of God concerning me, it's a done deal. Can you really ask "that" of the Father in this very moment no matter who you are or where you might be? Yes, you may.
Saturday we put up Christmas decorations & they are so pretty! Today my beloved son who is a TV/movie fanatic was trying to adjust the DVD player and did the unthinkable.... he knocked over and BROKE MY MAMA's SNOW GLOBE! Mind you my Mom's been enjoying heaven for 6 years now but when she was here with us she loved, loved, loved decorating for Christmas. Out of all her decorations that were left somehow I have cherished that big, beautiful nativity snow globe most of all. Every time I look at it each Christmas, I see my Mom smiling back at me and it brought me comfort me because I still miss her so. When my son walked into my office this evening to beat around a "confession" of having knocked it over I had just one quiet question, "Is it broken?"
I walked downstairs to see that it indeed was broken and I could not say a single word.
More unusual, I didn't scream or yell but simply picked it up and put it in the trash. I turned and walked back upstairs and when I sat down I felt absolutely no anger but a tear very slowly trickled down my face, then another and another. I silently asked myself, "Why are you really crying?" I felt within myself that the reason for these tears was bigger than the connection to the snow globe. SO I continued to sit and as I sat I realized they were a needed trigger for that lasttt little bit of residual hurt, pain and discouragement of the past 18 months to be washed away on THIS SIDE of 2012. Why? Because 2013 is GOING TO BE INCREDIBLE and has no room for "yesterday's sorrows." Even as I write this, I feel the Comforter drawing me close saying, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts. (Isa 55: 8-9). It is well with my soul. Selah.
Today would have been my mom's 59th earthly birthday and I miss her so! Reflecting on our love off & on all day, I've continued to arrive at the conclusion that it is absolutely well. She's enjoying heaven and having a Holy ghost party, so how can I allow myself to be sad? How can I be less than glad that she finished her course here and is now surely numbered amongst the angels? I just thank God for the precious memories that she left with me. Selah.